As I was sitting there under that old Weeping Willow next to the pond, with nothing else to do but contemplate the heavens above, along with my intermittent perusal of the morning daily, delivered to me earlier by a cheery-eyed newspaper boy on a hopped-up moped, I had the chance to share a few chuckles with the occasional squirrel and mallard duck that crossed my path.
Amongst the harder news were these reports:
"A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it."
"A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was doing a nurse said 'No change yet' "
"There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'."
"The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work."
"A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering."
"A midget fortune-teller escaped from prison yesterday. Beware, there's a small medium at large."
"The man who fell into an upholstery machine yesterday is fully recovered."
"The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran."
"A thief who stole from the Chicago blood bank was caught red-handed."
"A thief who stole a calendar from the Michigan Avenue Walgreen's got twelve months."
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